Jennifer Mattern

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Chin up

...really means forget about the old boot straps. Just keep your mouth out of the water, you silly, wretched drowning thing. Chin up. You're not the first person who's ever had to doggy-paddle. Why should you get to drown, while the rest of us have to muck on in uncomfortable lives and uncomfortable boots? I won't stand for this prissiness. I won't have it, I tell you. You are no Virginia Woolf. You have to earn rocks in the coat pockets. Until then, count your blessings, kiss your children, and pay your taxes. Stop that insufferable whinging.